The Search for Self

Personality tests, gender madness, and identity obsession.

The Episcopal Church now offers congregations a “rite of renaming” ceremony. So, if you're seeking a new gender, a new identity, and a new name, they've got you covered—complete with an official liturgy for the occasion.¹ To say nothing else, it’s just one of the latest moves in a culture obsessed with identity.

And if there’s one issue dominating the cultural conversation today, it’s this one. Even if you don’t buy into extreme leftist gender ideologies—even if you believe there are only two genders, even if you reject the notion that a man can identify as a cat, or that a person doesn’t need to be a biologist to define what a woman is—this question of identity still saturates everything. It’s everywhere.

It’s studied in universities, where identity takes center stage. In workplaces, where it’s workshopped. In churches, where it’s baptized.

Everybody’s got a theory. Everyone’s got something to say. "Find your gifts. Find your calling. Find your Enneagram type. Find your dream. Find yourself."

The “Self” has become a mystical quest—an elusive, moving target always just out of reach. And in many ways, this obsessive pursuit of self-understanding has contributed to the chaos we now see in gender ideology. The self becomes something forever fading on the horizon, keeping us perpetually restless and unsatisfied.

You try one thing and it doesn’t feel right. Try another, and it’s not what you hoped. Then comes the haunting thought: Maybe I’m in the wrong body? And the lie follows: Maybe if I cut off parts of myself, I’ll finally feel whole.

Are we over it?

Am I saying that we should never attempt to know ourselves? It’s a tempting reaction, especially in a culture where identity quests have run mad. When things get this bizarre, the pendulum swing is strong. You may find yourself wondering if we should just drop the whole topic.

And yet, the idea of understanding ourselves isn’t foreign to the Christian tradition. John Calvin said, “There is no deep knowing of God without a deep knowing of self, and no deep knowing of self without a deep knowing of God.”

The ancient philosopher Socrates famously declared that the unexamined life is not worth living. His summary of all wisdom? Know yourself.

Are Identity Quests Biblical?

To justify the new “renaming ceremony” mentioned above, the Episcopal Church cites 2 Corinthians 5:17: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”

Of course, in this context, “the new” is interpreted as totally remaking your biology. That’s not the point of the verse—it actually contradicts it. The passage is about spiritual transformation, not self-constructed reinvention.

Still, we can’t ignore that Scripture clearly does have something to say about identity. There is an old you and a new you. There’s something to this journey.

But here’s the thing: for those of us who reject modern expressions of identity ideology, the evangelical Church often isn’t offering much of an alternative.

Right now, the “self” in many churches is like a big pot of soup filled with whatever ingredients happen to be lying around—bits of evolutionary psychology, spiritual gifts tests, Enneagram types, and motivational speaker taglines.

These pursuits aren’t necessarily all bad. The problem runs deeper. The quest for identity—even within the church—often starts from two flawed assumptions:

• Baseline Neutrality: That our hearts, dreams, and personalities are neutral, untouched by sin or distortion.

• Emotionally Driven: That how we feel is the most important compass for who we are. What do you want? What excites you? What are you passionate about?

A neutral starting point driven by emotions—what does that look like? We might see ourselves as characters in a movie, just doing our best to get by. Follow your dream. Be more organized. Make more money. Buy a bigger house. And live the rest of your life trying not to get fat.

But these efforts leave so much untouched. Much of the church is living on crumbs, never realizing there's a feast at the table.

What is the problem? To put it another way, all of these approaches to identity place our conscious minds at the center. Identity becomes a transaction. You judge whether you need to take a personality test, for example, you take home the results in your pocket, you decide whether it helps you or not.

I’ve said it before, so much of where we miss the point in the church today is this: we are the arbiters of our souls.

By definition, that kind of self-knowledge will always be limited. You can’t see the back of your head.

This article is just an introduction to a short series I’ll be writing on identity. In it, I’ll explore identity through the lens of classic stories and ancient tropes as framed by a deep dive into Garden of Eden narrative.

I hope you’ll stick around.

1. Church Dysphoria