How to Win Your Kids' Loyalties

Emotional appeals or logical arguments - what matters most?

If you're a Christian parent, ensuring your kids grow up to love Jesus is likely a top priority. But how do you achieve that?

What’s more important when it comes to your kids - logical arguments… or emotional appeals…? Both approaches come with pitfalls.

Modern youth group culture has proven that getting kids to feel things is pretty easy—but it’s a short-term win. When kids mistake the rush of music-induced emotions for the real thing, it can backfire later in their lives. As soon as their feelings simply come and go (which they will) or someone poses a serious question once they reach college, kids “lose their faith” and are left more jaded toward Christianity than ever.

Not that Christianity can’t stand up to serious questions; it can. Hence, there is a need for the logical, rational side. Logic is essential for framing their worldview thinking and defending their faith against the onslaught of subtle deceit that will come at them from everywhere. Nevertheless, we all know you can’t merely argue your children into faith.

The answer? Both logic and emotion are critical, but NEITHER is enough. One ingredient is missing: loyalty. Loyalty to a belief system can withstand any obstacle.

But HOW do we engage kid’s loyalties?

Strong narrative is the one thing that will always win their loyalty. One way or another, they will be exposed to narratives coming from somewhere.

C. S. Lewis said that our imagination is the gateway to our reason and emotions - not the other way around.

If you win your children based merely on emotions or reason, their loyalty will only last until someone comes along and tells a better story. For example, that’s why so many kids go to church, but their real loyalty lies in their Spotify playlists (after all, music is just another vehicle for storytelling).

In other words, the battle for your kid's loyalties is engaged through narrative. Those who tell the best stories win.

So, tell a beautiful story with your life, with your parenting, with your family culture… and, of course, through great books and great movies.